Category Archives: good word

i call it breathing

i started this when i was living in niger, and i’ve come to finish it on a day where i very much feel all of this.

 

a long time ago, a friend told me that they knew i “feel love like a weight,”  and it took me a little while for that to settle in. not because i didn’t believe it, but because i could physically feel it hurting in my chest. the moment i heard the words, i thought of things going on in the lives of people i knew, in the world around me, and i could feel it in my chest.

it isn’t the feeling of anxiety, i knew that feeling very well and hadn’t experienced it since my early days of trusting Jesus. it is just a physical feeling of sadness, empathy, i suppose. but it is overwhelming sometimes, paralyzing on the worst days.

and i feel it often.

i feel it now, it has been heavy in my chest  and i can’t shake it and i don’t want to. because it’s the only way i feel human.

i’ve been telling my new friends here about my amazing ability to cry. at movies, a photo, a glance at a stranger. some might call it being “overly sensitive,” but i believe it’s a gift. it’s a gift because it’s an outward showing of what i can best describe as the spirit moving within me. even that sounds fairly trite. because how can i possibly understand or even quantify what that truly means or feels for anyone? i only know that for me it feels like a weight.

i’m sitting at a table thinking about the people i know around the world who feel pain from physical malady. those who own scars from the wounds of life that no one asks for nor deserves. i’m thinking about all the children i know who don’t have fathers or mothers. who can’t go to school. who only feel daily human contact by way of violence or abuse.

i’m thinking about women who yearn for children but can’t have them. men who want to provide for their families but feel shame because they’re unemployed.  people who are battling cancer, chronic illness, unexpected traumas. i’m thinking of people who are trapped in brains or bodies that we don’t fully, medically understand and may never.

i’m thinking of the people who carry heavy emotional burdens on their backs for their family, friends, children, and lovers. i’m thinking of the brokenness.

and i feel it like a weight as i sit here in my own broken body. this body and brain and soul that i don’t understand on my best days and curse on my worst days. this body and brain and soul that feels broken on their best days and phony on their worst.

fake. phony. an illusionist.

and i have to believe that being a broken, fake, phony illusionist is normal and even ok. because on my worst days i feel like the weight is crushing me.

but on my best days,

on my best days, i believe.  i believe that loving people works. i believe that hugging someone works. i believe that crying next to someone works. i believe that telling someone that they did a good job or that they are kind, i believe that works. i believe that breathing through the crushing weight of other people’s pain, breathing through the selfish ambition to walk away and stay safer in ignorance, pushing through as a broken person sitting next to broken people, i believe that works.

on my worst days i hide and i listen to sad music and i let the weight crush me until i have no tears left to cry.  and that’s ok.

but on my best days i admit my own brokenness, i don’t pretend, i don’t feel phony. i look all of that in the face and i love the broken person next to me.  and that’s better.

to me, that’s what this life is about.

that’s breathing.

 

 

(sleeping at last, accidental light)

i repent of parading my liberty

i had been working on another piece before the events of this weekend unfolded. that’s on hold for now, but it’s supremely relevant even though it has to take back burner for today’s story. we’ll get there, though, soon enough.

(one other note, the titles of my posts are all song lyrics. at the bottom of the post you’ll see the artist and song used in the title. the option is yours to listen to the song or read the lyrics for another take on the topic at hand.)

 

logic. reasoning.

for some, those are paramount for human existence. there is a desire to understand.

how things work.
action and reaction.
where those lost socks go.
how we exist.
why humans do the things we do.

we’ve been talking a lot about logic over the weekend. because for all intent and purpose, what is happening in our corner of the world is illogical.

my american, college educated mind finds it very easy to disconnect truth from opinion, facts from hearsay. i find it easy to use discernment and logic in discussing the events of the past few weeks:

– secular, satirical magazine in a country that supports freedom of speech and religion lawfully publishes cartoons that negatively depict the prophet of millions of followers around the world, many of whom live in countries where there is no separation of church and state, nor is there encouragement to speak out against, poke fun at, or malign a supreme personage.

– secular, satirical magazine is targeted and people are senselessly killed, global headlines appear. global support for freedom of speech appears.

– muslims in former french colonies catch wind. people are angry that the person they most revere is continually being defamed.

– they gather at their place of worship to demonstrate their anger. the police tell them to stop. now their anger is kindled.

– they begin to act irrationally, mob mentality takes over, they take advantage of the situation to make clear their feelings against christians by burning churches, homes, christian schools, things get maliciously out of hand.

 

it is irrational for churches in africa to be burnt because of a secular magazine in france. it is irrational for muslims to think nigerien christians had anything to do with that magazine. it is irrational for people to burn homes simply because other people are doing it. it is irrational to forcibly and physically remove the livelihood of fellow neighbors simply out of anger or hurt. it is irrational to use this situation to show disdain for the government.  it is not logical.

 

but i, too, am illogical. i trust and follow people who have acted irrationally.

paul and barnabus’ missionary journeys do not make rational sense.  upon preaching the message of grace and redemption in certain cities, they were threatened and stoned, left for dead. it does not make rational sense for them to return and continue encouraging people. but they did. they risked their lives because they knew their message was truth.

it doesn’t make rational sense to be in a foreign country, contracting weird bacterias and being eaten by malarial mosquitoes. it doesn’t make rational sense to stay here after our churches have burnt and believers in Jesus are being threatened. but we stay because we know the message we share is about love, redemption, forgiveness and God’s grace. and the people here desperately need to know that. so we stay.  it doesn’t make sense because it is illogical.

 

Jesus is illogical. following Jesus goes against limited human logic. He who tells me to love and pray for my enemy and for those who persecute me, to turn my right cheek when my left cheek is hit, to give my shirt when my jacket has been taken… He who tells me to forgive someone 70 times 7… He who died bearing my sins and the sins of the world to reconcile us to God… He is not logical. His word goes against what our rational AND irrational minds think and do. His very birth and life is illogical. i can’t understand it. it doesn’t make sense.

but i am not naive. i have not been brainwashed into believing fairy tales and i do not subscribe to faith because it wraps up the world in a tidy package that makes life easier to swallow.

it is in the very essence of this irrationality that i find truth, hope, freedom, promise. i trust because Jesus is illogical. i believe because God can’t be fully explained. i have hope because even a shred of His Word brings more peace and acceptance than any logical or rational thought can prove to me.

have you lived enough years on this earth to realize the irrationality of it? have you seen enough humans make choices every day that confound and madden you? how many times have you made one of those choices, the choices that make you stop and think, “why… why did i do that. i cannot find a reason…” our minds cannot explain everything away. they can’t explain everything at all. many brilliant, brilliant people have tried to come up with an explanation for everything. and that, is illogical to me.

i don’t know the reasons for what has happened here this weekend. no one knows the whole truth and we can’t try to rationalize it. it goes against logic. but i have plenty of illogical reasons for staying here when so many think it’s unsafe. here are just a few:

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there are still threats against christians around the country right now. still demonstrations going on. so, right now, we pray. we pray that love and peace prevail. we pray that the irrationality of forgiveness is seen, felt, and heard. we meet as the Church, which no one can burn to the ground, and we help our brothers and sisters rebuild their church buildings. we continue to send a message of peace, hope, redemption, truth, and eternal life with Jesus. the most illogical of us all.

(derek webb-  i repent)

Thy power and Thine alone

IMG_1850©graceschofieldphotography

 

the samaritan woman at the well. you probably know the story, but we’re going to take a look at it today, because once again the Lord has opened my eyes to some truth via historical context :o) my favorite.

first, let’s read:

now when Jesus learned that the pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples that John (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only His discples), He left Judea and departed again for Galilee. and He had to pass through Samaria. so He came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as He was from His journey, was sitting beside the well. it was about the sixth hour.

first, Jesus’ journey to Galilee. i was talking with a friend of mine here, a seminary student, about this story. he told me that the path Jesus took to Galilee was atypical of a Jew at that time. many Jews walked around Samaria to get to Galilee, so as not to associate with the Samaritans. Jesus, on the other hand, “had to” pass through Samaria. He took the direct route.

 

Map of Israel in New Testament Times with Roads

(source)

“a woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “give me a drink.” (for His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) the Samaritan woman said to Him, “how is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (for Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “if you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you ‘give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”

everything  Jesus does hereafter is not only atypical of the times and standards, but proof that He is no ordinary man. Jesus stopped at the well and started speaking to a woman. and He didn’t stop at just any well, He stopped at Jacob’s well. and asked the solitary woman there for a drink. that may seem like nothing when you think about Jesus, because He was always doing radical things like eating and reclining with sinners. but let’s think about what is extraordinary here.

when i told you about women gathering water at the well here in Niger, i mentioned that they rarely do it alone. in the photo above, you can see a group of 3 women hauling one bucket of water up from the well. that particular well is 80+ ft deep. the well is a gathering place. it’s a place of laughter, sharing stories, but most of all it’s a place where women work together to gather their most important physical need: water.

back to John 4. we are not told that there are any other people present at this well. it’s just Jesus and this woman who approaches to draw her water. one woman. and Jesus, a Jew, has just asked her, a Samaritan, to draw water for Him. and Jesus tells her if she knew who He was, she would know that He offers living water. now, let’s keep reading.

 

the woman said to Him, ” sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. where do you get that living water? are you greater than our father Jacob? he gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. the water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” the woman said to Him, “sir, give me this water so that i will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.”

and now, for this first time reading this passage, i see something different than before. i always read this thinking the woman truly wanted the Living Water Jesus was talking about. but now, in the context of understanding what it truly looks and feels like to draw water from a deep well, i think i understand what she was really saying.

i don’t think this woman has truly understood who Jesus is yet. what if she is only thinking of her current physical situation? Jesus just offered her a chance not to draw water from the well anymore. that’s what she focused on in her response. she did not crave understanding of this “Living Water,” she wanted relief from the daily physical labor of drawing water from the well. she did not want to be thirsty anymore, she didn’t want to have need of returning daily to that well to draw water. we don’t know how long her trip to the well was. we don’t know how far she walked daily. we don’t know if she pulled water on her own every day. we only know she was grasping at the chance to change her plight.

***

pulling water is hard work. april and i did it by ourselves at the well pictured above. we had to be taught the proper rhythm. we alternated pulling, one pulling with all our strength from the top of the rope, the other crouched down from her previous pull, repeating motion after motion until the bucket rose to the top. after 2 buckets drawn, we felt the harshness of the work in our arms, realizing muscles that had never seen that type of toil. we talked later about what it would have been like to pull the bucket by ourselves. and our thoughts were drawn to this Samaritan woman immediately. we knew the struggle of two of us pulling water and it became clear why this woman would ask Jesus for the ability to have water abundantly, without the long walk to the well and the labor that she would feel in her arms long after her jar had been raised.

***

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we won’t finish this story yet. i want to wait here, in this thought: Jesus was offering this woman the chance to know Him. she responded by asking Him to give her water to save her from hard work.

when Jesus offers Himself to us, do we get stuck on the things He can do for us, how He can alter our physical situations, or do we truly understand that His offering simply of Himself is enough? do i seek Him alone, or do i seek what He can give me, how He can answer me the way i want Him to… can i simply hear the Word He gives and know that that Word is simply enough…

dayenu.

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(Jesus paid it all)

Name above all

part two…

 

i’m currently reading “east of eden.”  i’ve not been able to put it down. when i’m not working or reading my Bible, i’m pouring over the words of steinbeck. it is a beautiful marriage of prose, philosophy, sociology, history and storytelling. it’s what a great novel should be.

i have been knocked over by many things as i’ve read the pages of this book. many things i could talk about here, but i want to focus on 2 really important ideas from the chapter i just finished. if you’ve never read the book, fear not, i’m very against unsuspectingly happening upon spoilers myself, so i’m not going to share much of the story or content.

 

the context: a few of the characters open up an old Bible, one that was handed down to the wife of one of the men from her mother.

number 1.

“this one has been scraped and gnawed at,” he said. “i wonder what agonies have settled here. give me a used Bible and i will, i think, be able to tell you about a man by the places that are edged with the dirt of seeking fingers.”

it’s a very simple text that elicits immediate personal reflection. as soon as i read that, i stopped and thought about a few things. the first, selfishly, being what would someone deduce about me if they picked up my Bible to read? what would my markings and scribblings and highlighting and notes tell them about me?

i didn’t have an answer for that, because immediately i began thinking about something else.

what are the actual possibilities of this scenario playing out today? with technology making it rare to read an actual paper Bible, will people begin passing down their phones and ipads with highlighted material or thoughts, giving their ilk windows into their lives and relationships with God?

can anyone truly know and understand someone else’s relationship with God?

it should be true that our lives be a reflection of Christ in us. Scripture tells us that as we live, people should be able to see Christ, see the work He has done in us, see that we are examples of how He lived and how He cared for others. but that doesn’t necessarily mean people will see all of our struggles, our doubts, our personal prayers that sometimes go unsaid that only Jesus knows. those things are often not reflected in our daily living, unless we are committed to total transparency with other believers. and even then, are we ever truly, completely transparent with anyone other than Jesus?

maybe it’s true that the worn, tear stained pages of our personal Bibles can lend a small insight to the scripture we hold or held most near and dear to our hearts. perhaps, if someone were to peek inside and see my many highlights, circles and underlines in the Gospels, they would see clearer my desire to understand Jesus as a human living on this earth so that I could better follow His example. but truthfully, I hope that this would be evident in how I live, and my current desire is for my life to be a reflection of what I know to be true in Scripture. that I would not leave highlights, scribbles and underlines as a way to preserve a memory of what I thought “most important” in my walk with Christ, but that those highlights, scribbles and underlines would be a reinforcement to what you see in my everyday walk.

because I’m an old soul, i relish the idea of passing down my Bibles for others to potentially understand my own story a little better. the historian in me thinks it is an interesting notion of legacy, and i’m now intrigued to find out if my own family has anything that would allow me new insight.

and I suppose now I’m just thinking about the many people who have recorded much of their lives in conjunction to their reading of the Word. How many journals and diaries and prayer books have been filled by saints who are desperate to know more of God. and how thankful i am for people who have thought to publish some of those writings for all of us to share in the wisdom and understanding God has blessed people with throughout history.

 

number 2.

“this one has been scraped and gnawed at,” he said. “i wonder what agonies have settled here. give me a used Bible and i will, i think, be able to tell you about a man by the places that are edged with the dirt of seeking fingers.”

we cannot have writings, meanderings or reflection without first seeking to understand. so what i love about the visual here is that it speaks so much about the life and action of a pursuant relationship.with the dirt of life on our hands, we continually go back to God’s Word for truth, comfort, peace, understanding. we seek after questions AND answers. we seek to know more about Jesus and His ministry on earth. we seek to understand both God’s wrath and His compassion for His people. we seek solace in the words God offers the enslaved, the marginalized, the poor and thirsty souls.

we seek.

and we seek with hands dirtied by lives of sin, covered in grace. it says so much about who we are and who God is.

we seek with life’s dirt, and we find God’s grace. and mercy. and sovereignty. His goodness and His faithfulness.

 

at this point in the book, three men are talking about the story of cain and abel. they are trying to understand. and they each have a different approach to reach that understanding. ultimately, they don’t agree on an understanding of the story. but they do agree that it is a story of us all, in some way. and i think about how often i read the Bible and am left without understanding. i used to become annoyed by that. but through my own sanctification process, God has shown me that i don’t need to understand it all, and in fact i will never completely understand everything God has ever said or done. that’s not the point of this life or relationship. the point, i think, is in the seeking itself. because it’s in the seeking where we find complete rest and satisfaction simply in knowing God.

 

 

so, here’s to the pages of the millions of Bibles, edged with the dirt of seeking fingers. and because of where i currently am geographically, i am praying for millions more to have the chance to seek after God with their dirty fingers of life on those pages.

 

 

Praise Him all you sinners
Sing oh sing you weary
Oh praise Him all you children of God
We lift high His glory
Shown throughout our stories
We praise Him as the children of God

Hallelujah, Name above all, simply to speak Your Name is praise…

 

 

(all sons and daughters- rising sun)

a peace that lasts forever

in one month i’ll be on a plane heading east, over the Atlantic to a temporary home in Niger. lately i’ve been asked the question, “are you prepared for your trip?” and more often then not, i respond with a simple, “prepared in my heart, but not physically yet.” but if i were being totally honest, i would tell you that every day i have to rely on Jesus’ peace to feel prepared for this experience.

i pray for peace every time i think about my kids meeting for Bible study without me, my sister making coffee for one every morning, missing the moment when zoey says her name with a “z” for the first time, missing jack jack’s transformation from tiny wrinkled creature  into a baby that looks like a tiny human, my girls going to their senior year homecoming dances…. and the list goes on. i pray for peace because i know this is part of my journey, to spend these next few months in Africa, but it is still difficult to think about life moving forward without me.

it’s naive for me to think that i’m just putting my life in Maryland “on hold” for a few months because that simply isn’t possible. life will move on here. my students will struggle through AP classes and college applications. my family will spend time together and make new memories that i won’t share. my church will sing on without me and my small group will bear each others burdens as they continue living life together. and these thoughts bring an anxious weight to my chest, and a fear that i’m going to miss too much to be gone so long…

but it’s in these moments of anxiety when God reminds me that none of those things are truly mine. He has allowed me to share a part in all of those communities, experiences, challenges, moments; but they are His. and because they are His, i don’t need to fear that i am missing anything at all. because He has asked me to be a part of another community, experience, challenge and moment that is also His, for such a time as this.

 

and so i surrender to the trust that is like quicksand, allowing it to claim everything i think is my own, because i know that it will give me life. freedom. peace to walk with Him where my faith has no borders. where i can truly sink into His mercy and grace for my life. and i can know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He is readying me for this new journey, this new season in my crazy, adventure-filled life.

and i will cling to this peace that lasts forever, that is beyond my understanding. and i will be excited to hear about how my kids are growing spiritually, how zoey is growing physically, how God is working in and through my church, how my family is growing and changing… and i will be excited to share how God is using me, growing me, sharpening me, molding me, teaching me. for such a time as this.

my heart may have to be reminded every day of His peace and His plan, but i can say that it is ready for this journey. wherever it may lead.

“grace, mercy and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and in love.” 2 john 1:3

 

PRAY: peace for my family; confidence and leadership for emily, who will take over leadership in Tracer; discernment for my students as they pray for their roles in gifts; open doors for faith conversations every step of this journey, even before i step foot in the airplane; boldness and courage for myself.

 

 

 

 

(hillsong- sinking deep)

His law is Love

my house.
a car with heat.
a full-time job.
the ability to buy groceries.
and a jacket.
friends & family who love the heck out of me.
gifts &talents i’ve been given.
Forgiveness. Grace. Savior.

as i walked from my car into my house yesterday, i had one thought. and one thought only.
in this current time, i have everything i need. should have no want for anything more.

in this current time, i have no right to feel i need anything more. not when i see & feel how this current time is.

(o, holy night)

my shadow lays with me

into the wild.

i’m 3 years late seeing this.

i only now felt the urge to watch it because leonard was in it.

but then i became completely intrigued by the story after talking about it with shannon.

we’re about to talk through this film, so if you’ve not seen it yet and you feel like you want to, continue at your own risk.

 

 

i can relate to the idea of adventure. the idea that routine life can sometimes transform us into a robotic person. i can understand the need to venture out and discover who you are in the simplicity of me + nature.

but while sometimes i have leanings of extremism, my own character tends toward short term adventure. and lots of it. so the idea of living off the land in nowhere alaska, with little to no skills, only a love of literature and the pursuit of self… it’s a romantic notion. but it’s also very presumptuous, borderline self-indulgent.

coming from an adventurer, that sounds judgmental and honestly, a little strange. but hearing chris mccandless’ story i saw through the romance and often found myself asking ‘how does he think he’s going to survive out there with just a pair of jeans, some hiking boots and a machete? does he even know how to shoot a gun? this is so crazy!’

 

 

he was resourceful to a degree. he was book smart and used his educational wisdom to get through some battles in his wild.

(here)

there were moments when i understood his sense of peace for being alone. in the quiet. in the wild.

(here)

but i understood more the moments where he needed human connection. he had proved he could hoof it. he could survive without money. he didn’t need people’s help to get him from place to place.

but this was different. wayne. jan. rainey. the vampire girl. ron. there was a reason he stayed with those people. there was a reason he chose to spend lengths of time with those people.

whether he would admit it or not, he was lonely. spending 2 weeks on a self-actualization adventure is one thing. but spending 2 years alone would have anyone talking to bloody volleyballs and organic apples.

(here)

it was these moments when i related to his adventure more than anything. the rush of meeting new people and discovering why you were placed in each others’ paths. the joy of community. the sense of belonging. of family. of love.

(here)

seeing leonard made me weep. hearing him talk again about his trees and how God loves us. i wept. and i watched that 2 minutes of the movie 3 times after it was over because my heart hurt so bad from the rest of it that i just wanted to feel hopeful again. leonard knight. seriously the most precious man ever…
anyhow. back to the point. what made this film/story so heartbreaking to me is the fact that chris missed the story that was happening around him. he had one goal. alaska. the wild. conquer nature. leave society.

but what i watched unfold was the story of someone who had opportunities to get involved in a life that was introducing itself to him at every turn. he was meeting people that loved him instantly and were willing to do major things for him at their own expense. he was shown love in the simplest form. yet still he had a goal. what if all those people had been signs that he was made for something else? that these people were put into his life not only to be part of this adventure, but to introduce him to his next adventure? and not an adventure of the alaskan wild. what if?

(here)
it made me think about how often we’re focused on OUR goals. how we will stop at nothing to realize a goal or a dream or an idea of what our life should look like. how we fail to live in the beauty that is the chaos of life.

i picture life like a river sometimes. it’s calm most of the time. but often we hit serious rapids. sometimes they are unexpected. sometimes they appear from around a sharp bend and there’s no way for us to know they’re coming. and sometimes we find ourselves fighting hard against the current. sometimes we embrace the rush and flow with the river.

i’ve been thinking a lot lately on the idea that life is made up of moments. good ones. bad ones. tough ones. easy ones. painful ones. healing ones. magical ones. but they’re all beautiful. if we’re able to see it. i think God places us in particular situations and it’s up to us to figure out the why’s and the what’s next. literally to move with the wind. with the moments.

sometimes we get too focused on us and we miss the big picture. the big picture that life is moments He has created to help us live the best story. we can become like trains that are just trying to get from point a to point b and we miss the scenery outside. we don’t stop once in a while to get off and explore. we don’t talk to the passenger next to us. we miss the moments He has for us along the way.

this image hurts my heart. because it feels like the realization that he expected a different outcome. he expected an adventure he could handle. he expected to live off the land. he did not expect the river to rise and the animals to disappear and the moose meat to be too much to handle. he didn’t expect to be trapped. and to be as lonely as he was.

(here)

this is just one idea. i may be wrong. maybe this was what his story was meant to be. maybe it all played out like it should have. but maybe he was meant for more. i don’t know. regardless, God is using his story the way it happened. He used it to get me thinking. and i know i’m not alone in that: pilgrimage

at one point in the film chris says to ron

‘i will miss you too, but you are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God’s place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. people just need to change the way they look at things.’

but at the end. when he knows he is about to die. he writes, in pained and labored penmanship:

‘happiness only real when shared.’


(here)

(eddie vedder- far behind)

after all it was a great big world

the other night i was having dinner with shannon. and i told her about a recent thought i had.

at the age of 25 i spent three weeks traveling through europe. i’ve been to 9 european countries, 17 european cities and 3 different island groups.

i’m 27 now, almost 28, and last month i spent three weeks traveling the united states. i saw 19 total states and because of this trip only have 9 more states to visit before i’ve seen all 50.

people don’t get to do that every day. most people will never do that in a lifetime.

sometimes i forget that i don’t live a normal life. sometimes i forget that i have been blessed beyond belief by the things i’ve done, the places i’ve been able go, the experiences i’ve been able to have.

i forget that normal people don’t get to traipse around the world on a semi-regular basis.

i needed to remind myself of that.

looking back over the past few years, i feel very overwhelmed and can only thank Jesus for giving me passion, desire and above all the ability and freedom to do the things that i do.

just know that i do not take any of it for granted.

blessed doesn’t seem to cover it.

(tom petty- american girl)